I am just so so tired. So tired of sickness - of being sick and taking care of other people who are sick. Tired of being woken up by whiny children during the night or by an overly energetic baby at 5am. Which in my book counts as "middle of the night." Tired of forcing exhausted children to bed as they cry "But we're not tired!" Tired of being completely out of energy by 4pm... which is a time of day when I need more patience, not less.
Tired of spending 80% of my day following Colin around the house because he refuses to nap and spends most of his waking hours trying to kill himself. Whether he is attempting to crawl headfirst down the stairs or chewing on cords or climbing the bookcases or eating small objects or trying to get the plastic thingys out of the outlets or playing in the toilet. I can get approximately nothing done.
Tired of picking up toys. And books. And clothes. Tired of finding food ground into the carpet, courtesy of Colin who - no matter how well you clean him up after meals - always manages to sneak some food away from the table. (This morning he hadhalf a slice of banana bread stuck to the back of his onesie, which was later discovered in the play room.) Tired of him screaming at me because I'm not feeding him fast enough.
Tired of spending an entire day cleaning, only to have the evidence destroyed and a messy house again. Tired of dishes. Tired of laundry. So very tired of laundry.
Tired of having my schedule interrupted. Tired of canceling plans because of sick kids or car repairs or whatever. Tired of calling people and saying "Guess what? We're sick again!" Tired of missing my Bible Study. Tired of only having 20 minutes to run into the store and attempt to grab a week's worth of groceries without a list. Then hearing complaints about there not being any food to eat. (Except saltines and applesauce!)
Tired of forcing myself to eat even though I have zero appetite. Otherwise I get a very grumpy, starving baby who bites me because I don't have enough milk. Tired of showering with a child in the bathroom. Especially when Colin grows tired of playing peek-a-boo with the shower curtain and just sits there screaming. Tired of not having a break or a minute to myself because of sick children staying home from school. Tired of trying to sit at the computer with either a squirming, crying baby in my lap or a screaming baby pulling on my leg.
I know this will pass. I know. Its just getting to me today. And I need to cry.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{EXTRA LARGE HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I want you to know that I had an extra rough morning with my toddler and I was thrilled to come here, read this and just nod my head in agreement!!!!! I totally get what you're saying and have been there... recently... as in this morning. LOL And had the tears to prove it. I wish I lived close. I'd offer to come help. Everyone needs help.
Michelle
http://www.everydaycelebrating.com
Posted by: chella | 26 February 2009 at 09:17 AM
Oh...I am thinkin' of you! I have those days too...if they only knew!
Posted by: Alaina | 26 February 2009 at 09:36 AM
{{{hugs}}} for you, my friend... And some prayers too...
Posted by: misty | 26 February 2009 at 10:39 AM
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} I've been there - but with only one baby - can't even imagine three! Is there anything you need? Anything I can help with?
I ahd a similar situation two weeks ago when my husband was out of town. When he got home, I met him in the garage with Aubryn, handed her to him and went to the library by myself for an hour and then went to Wegman's by myself for an hour. After those two hours, I felt a million times better. Sometimes all that we need is a little alone time.
Posted by: Megan (mommyesquire) | 26 February 2009 at 11:54 AM
Oh sweet mercy, friend!! I'm sending you a big internet {{{HUG}}} too!!! Rest assured, this too shall pass...hang in there, you are NOT alone and are doing a wonderful job as Mama despite how it feels!! A country song says, "it won't be like this for long".....love and hugs, pray y'all are feeling well SOON!!!! :D
Posted by: Kari | 26 February 2009 at 12:56 PM
I am sending you a hug, and some prayers. You have had a rough time, and I feel your pain. I hope everyone gets healthy and stays that way.
Remember we are here to listen.
Posted by: Kellyn | 26 February 2009 at 01:14 PM
I am praying for you!
Posted by: d | 26 February 2009 at 03:12 PM
I have a newborn at home and TOTALLY understand!! Especially the part about trying to get the grocery shopping done in 20 minutes!! I wish I lived closer to you so I could help out!! Also, be sure to give an extra big smile (while grinding your teeth) to the people that say "you'll miss this some day".
Posted by: Christee | 26 February 2009 at 05:03 PM
Special blessings to you tonight - hope you can sit in the quiet somewhere and sip a warm drink...or maybe a mojito or martini or something. :)
Posted by: Kelly Raudenbush | 26 February 2009 at 07:43 PM
so i read this earlier today and it made me want to roadtrip to philly so you can go to starbucks. hang in there!
Posted by: Laura | 26 February 2009 at 08:48 PM
Hang in there, if you could grap some restful sleep you would be MUCH better off! Hope things get better for you!
Posted by: Lifelemons | 26 February 2009 at 08:56 PM
i just voted for girlymamma: http://www.mainlinetoday.com/Main-Line-Today/Best-Of/Best-of-the-Main-Line-2009-Online-Ballot/
ask the rest of your readers to do the same!
Posted by: hannahumma | 27 February 2009 at 10:52 AM
Hope today was a better day :)
Last night, we all felt the same way here.
However, by 7:30pm, we were all in bed. It worked.
Posted by: Val @ Stinky | 27 February 2009 at 10:43 PM